Two women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing home residents.

They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her Husband had come to the nursing home.

The other woman said that her sex life was great!

“The secret to great sex is this,” the woman told her, “when my husband is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lay on the bed and put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night!”

Ethel says, “I’m going to try that tonight!”

When Ethel’s husband is getting ready in the bathroom that night, she takes off all her clothes. Although it’s a struggle, she gets one leg up and behind her head. Pretty soon, she has the other leg behind her head as well. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can’t move.

It’s not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, her husband yells “For God’s sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an asshole!”

A farmer married an attractive woman half his age. After several months on the farm, she complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and according to her Grandma, all farm wives are entitled to climax once in a while.
There being no doctor nearby, the farmer took his young wife to see a large-animal Vet.

The Vet didn’t have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his Mum and Dad would fan a cow that was having any difficulty birthing a calf to cool her down and make her struggles easier. So,the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a towel over them while they were having sex.This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to climax.

So the couple hired a strong, healthy young man from the big city to wave a towel over them as the Vet suggested. After many efforts, still no climax. They went back to the Vet.

The Vet said for the two men to change places. The young man would have sex with the wife while the farmer waved the towel.
They tried it that night and she went into wild, ear-splitting climaxes, one after the other. When it was over, the farmer smugly looked down at the young city man and said,

“Ya see, city slicker,now THAT is how you wave a towel!”

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Before you do anything,,kiss her before!! Now, back to the kissing stuff When you are alone with her on her porch/door, place your arm around her in a gentle, non-threatening way. If she does not cringe away from you or push your arm off her, you can proceed to the next step. Next lean your head against hers, appearing to rest it.
She should do the same. Then take your hand from hers, make a shape like you were going to pull the trigger on a gun. DON’T whatever you do, firm your hand, relax.

Let it flow. Place the tip of your index finger ( the tip = the joint farthest from you hand ) under her chin and lift her head to your mouth. Do all this in slow motion. She will remember it better if you do it slow. Don’t rush it. Kiss as though you have all the time in the world. But don’t prolong a kiss beyond its natural life.

If she pushes you away, she is just not ready. Do not push your luck and never ever push your way hoping to get “lucky”. You can always end things is by giving her a nice big hug.

Title: T & A Teacher
Section: Anime / Hentai
Time: 26 min
Quality: DVDRip
Format: MKV
Size: 271.01 MB

Be good, or will be punished …
All stare at Ayaka. She is one of the most beautiful professors at the academy, with beautiful eyes, big breasts and a beautiful smile. But she has another side: it is the coach karate club. Process it properly and you will be rewarded with all sorts of sexual pleasures … or you are lying on mats, unconscious.
There is only one guy is able to cope with Ayaka: brash new student named Togawa. One night, he finds Ayaka in the soul of the gym, engaged in masturbation and decides to go to her. Must-Do Ayaka display his fierce temper or she will follow her lustful desires?

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry….

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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

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Women like oral sex a lot. Oral sex for women or in other words cunnilingus is something that can make a woman go crazy of pleasure and satisfaction. Due to some anatomic reasons tongue and mouth touching women’s genitals gives incredible feeling for her, but there are some things that partner (men) should know and pay attention to. Cunnilingus is delicate skill, which requires patience, practice and understanding how to do it right.

During cunnilingus man should never rush – that doesn’t give any positive feelings for woman. Many women find it exciting when man is teasing her with tongue – slowly and quietly. Then a pleasure comes step by step giving amazing feeling for her. There are a big percentage of women who achieve orgasm from oral sex, but not all – so people do oral sex in two different ways:
1. First is for women who do not achieve orgasm from cunnilingus. When a woman belongs to this category – oral sex is a good way to warm her up, before having regular sex. There are many couples when man achieves orgasm quickly and woman needs more time, then oral sex may help to solve a problem of orgasm time between partners.

2. Second type of women, are those, who easily achieve orgasm from cunnilingus. This is an exciting way to make love with partner and diverse sexual life. Besides, it is safer – women will never become pregnant from only oral sex. However, it is not very easy doing cunnilingus to help woman achieve orgasm – a man has to know what his woman like, and which parts are the most sensitive for her. Some people are saying that oral sex for both man and woman is a fine art of sex.

Everyone must find how they like things done to them, and this is a very personal thing. Every woman is different and oral sex will need to be different for them. Some woman may like additional stimulation during oral sex such as one or two fingers into her vagina, stimulate erogenous zone at the roof of her vagina, touch breasts.

Some people are still afraid of trying oral sex because of natural smell vagina, so there is one simple way to avoid it – make sure you go to a shower and wash yourself before having sex (both men and women should do that).

Moreover some ladies, mostly those who never tried oral sex, are afraid that man may not like how she looks “there” or natural smell of that place. Due to this reason, she may not let a man to do cunnilingus to her. That is a personal thing of every couple and it can be changed after sincere talking about it – if a man is smart enough he will let her feel how much he wants to taste her “there” and give her incredible pleasure.

As I mentioned before every single women will be different, and before giving her satisfaction doing oral sex, man should be ready to accept her wishes otherwise doing cunnilingus the way man likes – may be useless for woman. Then there is no point to practice oral sex at all. The difference between normal sex and oral sex pleasure for women is that if a couple is making love in traditional way – they both feel pleasure, but during cunnilingus – woman is the main object that needs to be satisfied. That is why man has to pay all his attention to satisfy her, otherwise women will not try when she will do fellatio for a man. Oral sex between partners requires understanding and caring attention to each other.