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]]>She answered, “Your Honor, he knew I’m a vegetarian and yet he still insists on
putting his meat in my mouth.”
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Woman: “Doc, an ant entered my
vaginal, can you please take it out”.
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: “What are you doing?”
Doctor: “This is the only way to drown the
bastard!”
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Q: What is the closest thing similar to a
woman’s period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 – 4 days
& if it doesn’t come you are in deep trouble!
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A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U
look more sick & exhausted than before. Are u having 3
meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!
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Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said “No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly
& U still Suck It. If I make it Pretty You’ll Eat It
up!!
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A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got
mixed up. When the doctor told her she was
pregnant.
She cried n said, “Shit, we can’t even
trust cucumber anymore.!”
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A boy pulls down his pants in front of a
girl & asked ” Do U have this? ”
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, ” My mom said
with this I can have a lot of THAT!”
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Schoolgirl: “I do not want to take the
SEX EDUCATION”.
Class Teacher: ” Why not?”
Schoolgirl: “Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be
ORAL!”
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Mother asks daughter, how is married life?
Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says
” 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
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What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE – It can raise a woman’s hip with just
one lick!.
The lightest
muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman’s tongue!
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Lady Immigration officer asked a
Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now
what’s your full name?
Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
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Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn how
to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove
driver, gardener & watchman..
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COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to
take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and
leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
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A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look
like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind
& I didn’t have chance to see his face” !
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What’s the difference between stress,
tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend
is pregnant,
PANIC is when both are pregnant!
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Female ejaculation is real, although it seems that not every woman is capable of achieving it, and the actual “ejaculate” varies from person to person. Some women only produce a few drops, others, more than a few tablespoons. When an ejaculating woman’s G spot is stimulated (scroll down to learn more about the G Spot) to the point of orgasm, a milky, odourless, thin liquid shoots out of her urethra, sometimes in copious quantity and over relatively large distances – thus the name.
This liquid has been found to be very similar to male prostate liquid, and is secreted by the Skene’s glands, which flank both sides of the urethra. The liquid is NOT urine. We know this because when a woman has an orgasm, the pubococcygeus muscle contracts, stopping any flow of urine that may want to occur. So it’s normally not possible to urinate during orgasm.
Women who can ejaculate describe the feelings immediately beforehand as being similar to the desire to urinate. Apparently the secret to successful ejaculation is ignoring the urge to “close off in case of accidents” and, instead going with the flow. When ejaculation accompanies an orgasm, the sensation is said to be far more intense than a regular climax.
Doctors have not been able to give any explanation for female ejaculation, other than it being purely for pleasure. Research is still going on into what exactly happens during ejaculation.
The G Spot
The G Spot was named by John Perry and Beverley Whipple in their 1982 book The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality. They named the area after Dr Ernst Grafenberg, a German doctor who first described it in 1950 (although, as with most aspects of female sexuality, it had been “discovered” earlier and then ignored).
The G Spot is an area on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina about two inches from the entrance. This area, directly behind the clitoris and along the urethra, becomes enlarged when stimulated. It can be felt as a raised area on the vaginal wall.
Most sex manuals recommend manual stimulation of the G Spot via the insertion of a finger up to the second knuckle, and the movement of the finger back and forward in a “come hither” motion. As mentioned above, many women develop the urge to urinate when the G spot is stimulated. It’s a good idea to empty the bladder before trying this. Short fingernails and good lubrication are also recommended.
]]>Dear Mr Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice
1. There is a button ’start’ but there is no ’stop’ button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. We request you to change that to ’sit’, so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at home.
4. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘ find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when you will provide that?
6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘My Computer’; when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says ‘My Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is ‘Microsoft Office’ what about ‘Microsoft Home’? since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?
10. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God Sake! Please do not provide ‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta Singh
Last one to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her Husband had come to the nursing home.
The other woman said that her sex life was great!
“The secret to great sex is this,” the woman told her, “when my husband is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lay on the bed and put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night!”
Ethel says, “I’m going to try that tonight!”
When Ethel’s husband is getting ready in the bathroom that night, she takes off all her clothes. Although it’s a struggle, she gets one leg up and behind her head. Pretty soon, she has the other leg behind her head as well. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can’t move.
It’s not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, her husband yells “For God’s sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an asshole!”
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